Self Love and Self Image

How we may have taken up unnecessary body image expectations and forgotten to love ourselves in the process

New Moon in Leo

A new moon is a time of introspection and essentially ‘me time’ The perfect time to look at how we interact amongst our environment as well as within ourselves. What we experience and see in our external world is a direct reflection of our internal world. So if we find ourselves out of harmony, disappointed or hurt by our environment its time to go within and find out what is wrong here first. 

 

Self love seems to be a recurring topic for me. This month the focus being on self acceptance and how easily we can self harm. We are bombarded by external influences telling us how to look. what to wear, eat and how to behave. The addition of social media has amplified this by an immense volume. It is is tough out there. Then there is the addiction to perfecting our image by using photo filters, good angles and even apps which basically change your entire body or face just so you can deny your true beauty and live up to some irrational and non existent ideal. The reality is there is not a real image that men and women look up to, there is simply an ideal. There is no God or Goddess we are trying to be, there is just misleading and harmful images portraying something which essentially is unattainable. The truth in all of this is that we are ALL unique, beautiful, perfect and worthy just as we are in each moment. Neither of us needing to lose or gain weight, smile more or less, eat better, work harder or try to be anything more than we already are. If we can learn to love ourselves in each and every moment and accept what we have the rest becomes so much easier. 

 

If we spend a lifetime worrying about how we look or where we need to be better then when do we find the time to enjoy anything? 

One thing I learnt from a collection of experience this year is self love. Well I can’t say I have learnt to truly love myself because I still pull myself up on some bad habits here and there, but I am close.  I realised that just because I wasn’t a size 6 anymore (which I was in my wilder times, often with the help of a few friends on the weekend) doesn’t mean that I am not as if not more beautiful than in the past. I recently looked at myself in the mirror and realised all the things that I thought needed fixing in myself at that point were the exact same things I was trying to fix when I was a raw, vegan. yoga addicted, half day water detox and running everyday. When I look back at photos of fit and teeny me I remember the things I used to say to myself and they were the same things I said to myself until recently. For years I had carried some really unnecessary and incredibly hurtful baggage. I couldn’t really tell you where I picked up these harmful habits, who it was that forced me to believe lies about myself or what experience triggered these patterns but I can tell you that I lied to and hurt myself over them for years. 

I believed these stories so much that I didn’t appreciate my body, while others commented on how beautiful I was and my partner tried to convince me so, I thought these people were just telling me things I wanted to hear, instead of believing them I crushed my own self worth. This all started to change recently, bit by bit I began to uncover my true worth, I started to see how beautiful, resilient and forgiving my body was. How much every scar, stretch mark and cell in my being is a reflection of my experiences and how I can be radiant by simply loving myself. I started to change the way I see myself and this began to change the environment around me. I began to see beauty everywhere, perfection in each moment. This helped me to accept myself on a deeper and more sincere level than I had ever before. What was once a body I thought was fat, unhealthy, undesirable or odd I began to see as lovingly perfect. I did this crazy thing where I denied myself from wearing jeans because I thought who would want to see my body in jeans? I don’t have a flat enough tummy or long enough legs? Wow was I wrong. I decided to treat myself and after building up the courage asked a girlfriend to come jean shopping with me. That day was one of the happiest days of my life as I realised I looked fucking amazing in jeans, I wasn't exactly supermodel material but I looked perfect just being me. All this time wasted convincing myself I couldn’t wear them disappeared as I realised it wasn’t about having the perfect body but having the perfect mind. 

Confidence can be rather arbitrary, it really doesn’t take much to destroy ones confidence, but just the same it really doesn’t take much to repair it. It's time to break those self destructive habits and learn to love ourselves for who we are. We are surrounded by opportunity to accept ourselves but often times we lose ourselves amongst our experiences. If we cannot accept ourselves or the experiences we face how can we expect others to accept us? 

If we can let go of the thoughts, patterns and stories which cause harm to us we can free ourselves of our limiting belief systems and access a level of self worth unlike anything we have ever known. This is a powerful process, by releasing our fears we allow ourselves to receive love and fulfil our dreams.

We are raised in a world of lacking mentality, you are not enough, you don’t have enough, you will not achieve enough…not true. Who you are IS enough, you are capable of achieving anything you desire and can have all you ever dream of. The key is in truly believing you are worth it. Remember that tv commercial that said “because you are worth it” well its true, you are! 

Challenge yourself to be kind and loving. Not just to those around you but to yourself first. We often don’t realise how harmful we are to ourselves or how much we limit our own potential. If we can feel rich and valuable on the inside we can begin to see this reflected on the outside. If we truly believe in ourselves and our worth we can accept that our value is much higher than we once thought. The thing about wealth is that it comes when we know we are truly deserving of it. Your external wealth is a direct reflection of your internal world.If we can come to a place where we are internally rich we will be rewarded externally also. If your outer world is not in harmony, not fulfilling you or not showing your potential perhaps it is time to go within and start at the source of your wealth. 

End the struggle and love each moment for what it is. 

We need to make peace with our bodies, in order to have peace on the outside. If each of us can come to terms with who we are, what we are destined for and how much we deserve we will all succeed and not have the time to hurt, harm or destroy another. Peace will come when we learn to accept and love ourselves. 

Once we can find this peace, accept our worth, stop putting ourselves down and take lightly what we receive we can find ourselves in a place of luxurious joy on all levels. Fulfilling not only our internal desires but also our external and worldly desires. There is nothing wrong with wanting to live a life of luxury or desiring anything as long as we know in hearts that we deserve these things  and we feed ourselves with love and compassion and commit to a life of loving ourselves to the point of absolute fulfilment. 

Cut yourself free from your limiting beliefs, it is time to remove these blockages and accept that the old models of self worth are outdated. Free yourself from these harmful thought processes and look clearly at yourself and your surroundings and make sure that they serve your new away of thinking. You may find that people are around actually only have positive things to say if you allow it to be heard. You may not have even realised until recently that you may have taken on board a belief system which doesn’t actually resonate or belong to you. Be with this and set yourself free. 

You have no idea the riches and possibility coming your way. Be open to it, but first be committed to love yourself and rid yourself of those unnecessary entanglements. We are each of us born perfect, without judgement, limitations or self doubt. But somewhere along the way we heard things which made us feel imperfect, viewed and experienced things which made us feel odd or not good enough and slowly without notice or awareness we took on board these limiting belief systems as our own. Truth is they aren’t our responsibility to carry around and while it may be hard work to face, the love and fulfilment we receive once we drop these expectations and fallacies is limitless and infinite. 

Wow this is a big one for ALL of us. We have all experienced judgment at some point. Not knowing that most of the time it comes from ourselves. Take it slowly, but start by telling yourself just how much you love and accept yourself. Be sincere.  Perform acts of exquisite self care, indulge and treat yourself every now and again. Allow yourself to feel as rich, beautiful and desirable as you want. Do not let the world around you tell you how to do you! 

Be creative, be expressive but most of all be YOURSELF! Take the time to write a list of things that you love about yourself, lose yourself in this moment and be open to learning more about yourself. 

Enjoy yourself, there is only one of you, so be the best version you can be and love yourself no matter what you are going through or what you look like. Guaranteed if you can love yourself at your worst you will look and feel better at your best.